So the long awaited internship at the district hospital did come to an end. And I didn't write every word of it as I thought I would. That's me. Procrastinator or Lazy , whatever you might wanna call me.
It's been 5 days without the hospital and I have a feeling of loosing something, maybe loosing my identity of who I am. Not that I wished it gave me one, still there is this feeling of wanting to go back and talk to patients, explain them stuff, smile and treat them.
I've spent my last nine months whining about how awful the hospital is, how lazy the doctors are and how uneducated the patients tend to be. But apparently, I wanna go back. Not sure to what, but just being a doctor, who is there, when they need, is a reason enough I guess.
Or maybe this is coz I'm a person who lives in the past. I'm hung up on it. I fail to see the goodness in "Today". I fail to understand things when they don't work out my way. My brain is blocked with thoughts I'm not supposed to have. Discontent that I am, makes me annoy people talking to me. I am in a schedule but I am free....and this freedom has so many of it's limitations that I am giving it away.
This isn't my life. It's what others thought I should have..and without questioning, I have said okay!
It's been 5 days without the hospital and I have a feeling of loosing something, maybe loosing my identity of who I am. Not that I wished it gave me one, still there is this feeling of wanting to go back and talk to patients, explain them stuff, smile and treat them.
I've spent my last nine months whining about how awful the hospital is, how lazy the doctors are and how uneducated the patients tend to be. But apparently, I wanna go back. Not sure to what, but just being a doctor, who is there, when they need, is a reason enough I guess.
Or maybe this is coz I'm a person who lives in the past. I'm hung up on it. I fail to see the goodness in "Today". I fail to understand things when they don't work out my way. My brain is blocked with thoughts I'm not supposed to have. Discontent that I am, makes me annoy people talking to me. I am in a schedule but I am free....and this freedom has so many of it's limitations that I am giving it away.
This isn't my life. It's what others thought I should have..and without questioning, I have said okay!
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