“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?”

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

An account of my Sunday

My punctuality and regularity came biting in my ass this Sunday.
I'll tell you how.

We had to work on a beautiful, bright Sunday morning owing to a supposed holiday on Monday. That means I had to spend the first few hours of my day with people coughing, sneezing and wheezing all around me; instead of me spending time with my beloved dog...sorry, Caspar with extra long walks, a refreshing bath, some fooling around the house and playing his favorite fetch (of course, these days the time spent on fetch is being reduced and redirected to more of...what I'll call scratch-my-tummy game!)
So there I was, point on time, in my ward, taking blood pressures and pulses, hearing to their their long and never ending aliments and jotting down everything I could and everything I should.
No regrets so far.

Then started the downfall of my day. First person to annoy me that day was the nurse. I had never seen her before. She must be the one who comes on Sundays and holidays (my guess). She began grumbling as I had asked her to distribute the case papers to the respective beds. That's it. And there she was muttering to herself and complaining it to an elder nurse who came along as if it was the most difficult difficult task I've allotted to her and how it was as tiring as the carrying the world on your back would be! Seriously neither do I have ascaris up me to come and ruin my Sunday, my only holiday, like this. It was a "Work" ,to be done.


The second person to come along and annoy me was the RMO office guy, who thinks he is a big shot which he is definitely not and nothing more than a servant in that office who has served longer than any other person working in the hospital. He has an attitude and well, even a personality good enough to exercise his authority allotted to him, mind you "allotted" which means it can even be self allotted. Anyways, so he came up to me and asked me to be at a blood donation camp being held somewhere in the city. Initially I was reluctant, but then gave up easily as he said it would be very short with just round 10 donors. One donor will take 10 minutes time plus 10 min observation time. You do the math.


So we set off. "We" would be myself, 2 nurses, 1 technician and 1 driver. Now ask me where the MO in charge is...well she is none other than Dr. Bairagi whom I've highly criticized in one of my previous posts. To hell with her.

The driver had the slightest idea of the place we were supposed to reach. Do you know those buses which take you around the city at a speed with which you can enjoy all the sights of the city without actually having to get down? Well, I had a similar kinda experience with just one tiny little exception. I had a sight seeing of extremely less developed parts of the city. I could actually peep into the house and tell the lady to switch off the light in the next empty room. I didn't.


So after around half hour of wasting time we reached the school where the camp was gonna be held. As we entered, the third person of the day, who annoyed me was standing at the dice, giving a speech....alone. Yesss, there was no audience. Just him. =)

I went up to him, told him who we are and asked where the room for our stuff would be, to which he snapped back at me with words...."There is still time. Program starts at 12:30. You have to adjust with whatever we have. Our resources are meager. I know how you people are from the Civil hospital!"
When his so-called mouth was shitting this, I was thinking....is this what I asked?!?

Firstly, when they give an application at the RMO office, shouldn't they give the time from which the team should be present...like from 12:30 to 3?? Right?
The paper he submitted said, the camp starts from 9:30 which clearly couldn't have unless he was expecting to suck blood out of us and himself for donation.
I totally lost my temper and asked him  that it would be better if he lessened the use of his tongue and utilized his energy to work if he wants me to be there. He did so.

So around 12:30 when all his "big shots" from some corner of this city appeared, he again began his speech. With all the broken words in his own language and with all the flowers he had to offer to all of them, he sure was getting on my nerves...like a caterpillar climbing up.

Then out of no where, I heard "Dr. Raut Madam" ....and she was asked to come up to the stage! O yea, that would be me I told myself and jumped up my chair. That was the first time I was being felicitated for nothing, was asked to sit on the stage among people I have never seen, being clicked by newspapers I will never read and given flowers that I didn't bring along.

After his 20 minutes of non-stop blabbering  I was happy about one thing and had one question....
Happy  that among everything and every person there..at least I wasn't the mike, which was being spat one. It was the mikes' worst nightmare come true, right in it's face.
And the question was...what kind of a kid would he have been?!?


My journey of a ruined Sunday went on till 3:30 pm with just 4 donors, a lot of indiscipline, noise and explanations. Some even asked me if my tattoo was real?! Dude, seriously when will people learn to mind their own business!?

I came home exhausted strangely not coz of work but because I wanted to change so many things that went wrong on so many levels.
As I was telling it to my father and grumbling about how government work is so ill planned and how authority is been given to people who don't even deserve....and blah blah blah....(I don't even remember what my Ma had made for lunch) ...he just said me one thing.

"I've worked in this system for 29 years and I can only tell you one thing Rashmi...If you have to work with these people, at this level, in India....be their Boss." =)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

....a night of crazy blue nailpaint!

So I painted up my nails blue!

Let's get back a little.

I'm tied up in a schedule which doesn't let me sleep.( That is a huge thing in Rashmi culture!) Though I do get a lot of experience....(blah blah blah) ....that'll make me a good doctor (still hate my hospital). And even though my eyes are involuntarily drooping and back hurts like I've worked as a daily wage laborer, am up writing my blog...coz enough with the laziness. (I seriously doubt the number of people who actually read my blog. well, my mom and dad haven't read even one article that I've written ..so you  know...I can't really complain if others don't!. =/)

Okay enough with the whining. (which am ready to do 24*7, and why not?!)

These days my head is filled up with so many thoughts. I hear something and start thinking about it...n go into the most vague detail. (that actually is a psychotic symptom! err..)

Like I was thinking about custard apples, the new fruit of the season and how much I like it (after mangoes) and how weird it looks from outside, like some kind of a sea creatures' home. And the insides...ugh. Saw sputum of a pneumonia patient in convalescent period? I'm just saying.
Yea whatever, m buying a lot more tomorrow morning and I'm sorry if I've disgusted you (as if!)

Then there was this thought about the current rate of birth in our country. It was a mind-fucking figure of 17.5! Sorry, I'm not supposed to use the F-word in a cultural, orthodox country like India where young girls and guys still sit on the opposite side of a classroom as if other one is infected with plague, and yet manage to have a freaking birth rate of 17.5! China has 3.2. Which means it won't be long enough when we overtake a nation (at least in some parameter for god's sake...n m not proud of it. duh.) by 2045 and sink our Great Land to the bottom of the sea. Literally. Hope so.
Solve my problem...how do you bore kids when u think talking to guys/ girls is a public taboo?!
Or maybe Stork does bring babies in India after all.
Sorry again, my bad.

The other thing that was on my mind this evening was....how beautiful the nights are these days. (yea, I can say good about something. Surprise!) They are just perfectly cold. I can sit and just lie down for hours together (which is a  distant dream these days) and listen to songs (which I have been of my playlist for over 3 months now. Damn I need to change it. Oh =( )

And then I finally found a great part of lyrics in an old song.....
"Maine yeh bhi socha hai aksar
Tu bhi main bhi sabhi hai sheeshe
Khudhi ko hum sabhi main dekhein
Nahin hoon main hoon main toh phir bhi
Sahi galat, tumhara main
Mujhe paana, paana hai khud ko
..."

....wic got me thinking, What if the current lyricists are dead? Who will write such beautiful lyrics? or will I have to listen to ...."garam chai ki pyali ho...koi usko pilane wali ho"...? Huh?

Anxiety. Fear of future. That is me =)


....so to get away, I painted my nails blue!

Monday, October 01, 2012

Pudhcya varshi lavkar ya...


The Ganesh festival is over. Sad. Not because now Ma won't make her special modak anymore for an entire year. (Yea rite I'd be lying if I say so. =P )
Once a friend asked me which my favorite festival is, by which he meant when I feel I should be at home with my family and no where else...and without a second thought I said "Ganpatiii" =D
Let me take you a few years back.
It was autumn of 1984. A newly married couple who had just begun living away from their family, to a place where the husband was posted, was having their daily dose of midnight chats. And around 2 they both decide they should celebrate the festival by bringing the ganpati home. The festival starts the next day. So they get up and started hammering nails in the wall for the decoration and hangings and lights. I repeat again, it was 2 at night. =)
Alarmed, the neighbors woke up and came over, to check what's wrong or if there was a fight between the newly weds!! After a long explanation and a hearful of laughter, they decorated the rest and thus began the tradition of Ganesh Stapana.

They were my parents. And there was love. What else do you need for any festival?!
The early morning aarti, the evening special prasad my Ma makes, the secret 'Khirapat' receipe my Ma boasts of, the Ganpati jap at my place...the beautiful decoration, the smell of agabattis lingering around my room...Yes, I missed all of it for the last 6 years. This year filled up the void. All n for all. =)