Chaos inside!

Ill =(
High fever, excrutiating headache, loss of appetite, insomnia & bodyache...
Thanks to every molecule of paracetamol in my blood that I'm able to stand up & work. or write this blog in that matter.
With all the free time my health gives me, all the thoughts that I have compartmentalized in my deepest part of brain surface up. I hate it, coz they are no pleasant. There was a time when I was happy about being able to recall every sec of any time when I have been the happiest now seems like a curse.

One of the hardest things in life is getting used, often attached, to someone & then having to depart with them in a way or another... We try to convince ourselves that we're moving on, but the fact is that we often end up fixating on the past; fixating on memories which, no matter how hard we try to suppress, keep coming back, maybe even vivider than before.
Any simple, mundane thing can evoke a deeply lurking memory; be it pleasant or not. The harder we try to extinguish them, the more they reinvent themselves. They never let go of us, neither we of them. They never really fade away, only the feelings associated with them wear off with time.
Hence, time doesn't actually heal all wounds. We just learn to live with them. We move on, it's true. We move on, but each time with a heavier burden to carry along.....

No expressions can translate the CHAOS inside!

That thoughts have to pile up more and more over the years without a way of organizing such a mess, so much so that you feel your head's become even more overpopulated than Earth itself!

It is disappointing. That even when you try to put your feelings into silence and hope that it'll get a message across, that too passes unnoticed ...

Only then, you lose hope of getting anywhere with that whom your words & silences should have concerned ...
You quit trying ... you turn your back & leave even without a goodbye....