So my taste buds are reviving themseleves from illness, hence Mom and I decided to give them some treat on this lousy Sunday evening. Made a plan and went on to make one of the tastiest, yummiest Chicken biryani ever made in this house!


So imagine this day where we both are busy in our respective works of reading or stitching something. All silent. We don't really talk much these days and I don't blame her for that. I've been a little in my own world lately. But more of that some other time.
So yea, at around 8:30 when she asked if I had any plans for dinner. And since I had none, I suggested some fruits with a cup of ice cream will do for me! She smiled and reminded me of my 2 week long illness. Ugh, ahem...yea who would know better than me.
She came up with the idea of biryani that she saw on TV and wants to try it. I readily agreed knowing that it was a joint project and that I will in no way be forced to do it alone.
And there we were, dicing onions and boiling rice and checking the tenderness of chicken. The kitchen was on fire for an hour!
I went out and got some mango ice cream and Bingo!!
A perfect evening with perfect food n perfect dessert .
Oh ...I love how still my fingers smell of it as I type. =)

My dreams...

I dream a lot. O yess, it also means I sleep a lot. But hey, I'm ill and rite now I'm allowed to get all flirty and mushy and have an official affair with my bed. Jealous aren't you already?

Well, so yea dreams... Every morning I wake up I wish I had something near me to jot down some of the most amazing dreams I've had or I wish my friend was near so that I could narrate it. Nothing of it happens of course and so one night like this, when I decide to become an owl, I write them down as they come to my mind.

I sometimes wonder what dreams really are. Are they my fear? or they are things I really wish could happen to me. One thing I've noticed is...my grandparents rule my mind a lot. esp. my grandma.
There was this dream I had when I was returning from work thinking to myself that today the first thing I'm going to do is listen to my aaji-ajoba's heart sounds. ...just to wake up and recall that they are no more. Dead for more than 7-8 years.

Then this other dream I had, where I'm lost, in a place I actually know very well but I just cant recall where I have to go from there or what I am doing there. But weirdly I enjoy being there for a while only to realize it's Delhi's connaught place and I was there with one friends Guna sometime back in sept. But I don't see him either. Maybe my brain just keeps going back to times where it had been happiest and scared at the same time. Coz last time I was at connaught place with Guna it was our last Night in Delhi...and we sure did have fun. =) But why does that comes up all of a sudden in my dream when I wasnt thinking about anything of that my entire day..is what I will never understand. Nevermind! =) Long life to think about it... ;)


All distracted rite now to think of others of to explain them. So this is it for now...

Chaos inside!

Ill =(
High fever, excrutiating headache, loss of appetite, insomnia & bodyache...
Thanks to every molecule of paracetamol in my blood that I'm able to stand up & work. or write this blog in that matter.
With all the free time my health gives me, all the thoughts that I have compartmentalized in my deepest part of brain surface up. I hate it, coz they are no pleasant. There was a time when I was happy about being able to recall every sec of any time when I have been the happiest now seems like a curse.

One of the hardest things in life is getting used, often attached, to someone & then having to depart with them in a way or another... We try to convince ourselves that we're moving on, but the fact is that we often end up fixating on the past; fixating on memories which, no matter how hard we try to suppress, keep coming back, maybe even vivider than before.
Any simple, mundane thing can evoke a deeply lurking memory; be it pleasant or not. The harder we try to extinguish them, the more they reinvent themselves. They never let go of us, neither we of them. They never really fade away, only the feelings associated with them wear off with time.
Hence, time doesn't actually heal all wounds. We just learn to live with them. We move on, it's true. We move on, but each time with a heavier burden to carry along.....

No expressions can translate the CHAOS inside!

That thoughts have to pile up more and more over the years without a way of organizing such a mess, so much so that you feel your head's become even more overpopulated than Earth itself!

It is disappointing. That even when you try to put your feelings into silence and hope that it'll get a message across, that too passes unnoticed ...

Only then, you lose hope of getting anywhere with that whom your words & silences should have concerned ...
You quit trying ... you turn your back & leave even without a goodbye....

I want you to love me like my dog....! ♪♫

As I am listening to this song on a hot summer afternoon...My Dog...Caspar is sleeping beside me, peacefully....ON MY BED. (Bastard) =D
I love this song...reminds me of how caspar comes running to the door when I come back home from anywhere. Actually his happiness makes me feel I've returned from my mission on MOON. O yea...you read it right.
God blessed me...
Enjoy the song =)


I want you to love me like my dog does baby!!

He never tells me that he's sick of this house

He never says why don't you get off that couch?
He dont cost me nothin when he wants to go out
I want you to love me like my dog

He never says I need a new attitude
Him and my sister ain't always in a feud
When I leave the seat up he don't think that it's rude
I want you to love me like my dog does Baby
When I come home, I want you to just go crazy

He never looks at me like he might hate me
I want you to love me like my dog
He never acts like he don't care for my friends
He never asks me where in the hell have you been?
He dont play dead when I wanna pet him

I want you to love me like my dog does honey

He never says 'I wish you made more money'
He always thinks that pull my finger is funny
I want you to love me like my dog

He dont get mad at me and throw a major fit
When I say his sister is a bitch!

I want you to love me like my dog does baby
When I come home, I want you to just go crazy
He never looks at me like he might hate me
I want you to love me like my dog

I want you to love me like my dog does Baby.....

Injection-mania

I feel like a person stuck between the Private Practitioners who never explain their patients what they are suffering from and why should they be taking a certain drug , and the patients who are way too ignorant to ask and even more to understand.
I'm irritated when the patient tells me he wants an injection for COUGH.
I mean...come on, there is no pharmaceutical preparation for cough alone...and esp. cough as such. What gets even more annoying is when the patients keep ranting they want one.
 I mean...Hello!
I guess I'm the one with a white coat isn't it darling? Shouldn't I be making the calls here? huh?
But honestly, sometimes their ignorance is beyond my anger. All I do is put down my pen, look into his eyes, lend him my big smile...and explain. " Ajooba, cough sathi injection nasta ho, tapa sathi ahe...te lihila mi" (..it goes something like this.) =)

Oh, injection reminded me of a patient..who made my day! =D
She was a typical diarrheal patient on a busy tuesday. I prescribed her the regular at around 11:30am. She came back at 1:30pm, all noisy and frustrated and more over without my prescription. She said, she was waiting for her turn at the medicine counter and the nurse there lost her prescription!
Extremely angry.(imagine)
I calmed her down..and started to write a new one for her... =)

She cuts me and says, "Madam, woh injection diarrhea ke liye hai likhna huh...waha kutte ka bhi de rahe hai" (" Madam, specify in the prescription tht it is for a diarrhea patient...coz they r giving injections for dog bite there" ) =D

They have no idea what we write!! Just complete faith. Blind.
It's for patients like this that I will always keep on revising my knowledge, again and again...

Whatever..we had a great laugh when she left. =)

When all I can say is...WTF!

Health care system of India.
Well, patients come with a list of HEALTH problems and doctors don't CARE. So, per se there is just a SYSTEM of India, which keeps on working with all it's flaws.

Patients walk in with a 5 rupee slip and a list of problems which dates back to at least a span of their youngest kid. And I'm expected to treat absolutely everything from low back pain to cough to a cut on her index finger... 3 months back!

Okay, I even intend to do that. So I go ahead and prescribe. Now another problem rises up.
Medicines!~

We have such a handful of medicines available..that it would be better I don't start on that topic

And yeah..another thing that irritates me.
Indiscipline.

I'm yet to understand why the concept of queue is alien to the inhabitants of this land. I mean how the fuck do they expect me to concentrate on one voice which is trying to tell me her problems when there are 7 other eyes staring at me and then back to her depending on who is talking

Damn. I'm angry. And I'm going to change things whatever it takes.